Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Thank You Letter To Bob Ryan

Dear Bob,

Thank you so much for reminding me. A day after a historic inauguration and affirmation that this is the greatest country known to man, one that provides unlimited opportunity for all; your article in the Globe today made sure that our original sin stiil hangs on us. The sin that only the martyrdom of the white male liberal and his resurrection in the halcyon days of the 60's have we been spared from Judgement Day. The sacrifice you made Bob, you and your grey haired aging hipster friends to make sure that we must never forget that black people are first and foremost Black.

Being born in 1977 Bob all I knew was Bill Cosby and the couple of black kids I was friends with in school as an examples of black Americans. Problem was, I was ignorant to the fact that there was a difference. People like you educated me man. Ignorant as I was I just thought they were kids like me and Bill Cosby was an actor like Ted Danson. Stupidly I thought the only difference was that they and I, being Italian and Greek, did not need as much sun screen at the YMCA pool in Peabody as some of the other kids with red and blonde hair.

But the baby boomers saved me Bob. The baby boomers saved me from ever forgetting that there was a difference. Through the 80s we almost forgot. But when one of your own, a pot smoking, Free Love loving, True Beleiver became President in 1992 we were educated on how awful we had been. He taught us that there was no way that we could look past their color and just treat them as equals; pushing quotas, affirmative action and hate crimes. And as a testament to his, and other liberals, commitment to discourse on the issue, he encouraged an almost zealous penchant for decrying Speech as Hateful at every turn.

That beautiful discourse and what we are allowed to say comes through so perfectly in your piece. Free Non Hate Racial Speech is almost dictionary definined on your appluase of the NBA for its commitment to a color blind society that is truly post racial. In being one of the most skewed demographical percentage in its hiring practices it takes the 6% of the population that is black males and makes them 90% of the employes in that facet of the company. Where a bigoted person would use color blindness to state that only if the NBA was 6% black, 67% white, and 15% hispanic as they do in such insignificant areas such as police, fire or senator and Supreme Court positions, the NBA gets it right by making white males inferior, black males superior and show us finally the greatest example of racial progress and color blindness that America has ever seen: The black dominated workforce.

In George Orwells 1984 there is a passage that we all agree with:War is Peace, Freedom is slavery, Ignorance is strength. To add to that passage: Racism is colorblindness, to wit, only through obsessing on race can we truly be color blind.

And it takes men like you Bob to put is in the situation we are in now. To remind us that truly only an NBA type country, black superiortiy, white infeiority can be the end-game. The only true levling of the playing field.
And you did it the way you children of the 60's did. Born to men who won WW2, you knew you could do it better than that generation. You shunned the big name papers and gave up your salary to the little people. You sold your home in your beautiful town and traded it for a family in Dorchester in the name of diversity. You realize that your pay check is justified by nothing. You know that in life sports is the playground and obviously not worth as much as teachers and police and firefighters. So you've given your share to the community and allowed for your pulpit to be that of the people. Free to all. You baby boomers, the teenagers of the late 60's did not give up your morals, your view on life. You never would wear suits, drive that fancy car, be a part of that facist corporate structure.

"Does this mean we are now post-racial?" you ask in your article. No so fast, thanks to people like you Bob. Thank God you are there, to remind us that to get to being color blind we must first and foremost realize that we are defined by our color.

Thank You;

Big Brother

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Finally.

Finally.

Since 2004 baseball has pretty much been dead. Sure as a Red Sox fan I celebrated in 2007 after the sweep of Colorado's Triple A Affiliate but something was missing. The next day I went about my business, saw the parade on TV, bought my Papelbon jersey etc...
But I don't think my heart rate ever went above 4.

I loved the Cleveland series in '07, don't get me wrong, but I didn't hate Cleveland. I always love beating the Angels, as they did this year, but they are just Pittsburgh Steeler-esque "The Best Team Lost" paper champions.

(sidenote1: Where was all the "The best team lost today" garbage when the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl? I mean the classless, pond scum Patriots lead by their disrespectful scumbag of a coach surely would have at least risen to the level of a John Lackey or Jerome Bettis, no?)
(sidenote 2: I cannot wait until they lose to the Chargers this weekend.)

But I don't hate Cleveland, I don't hate the Angels.
I only hate one team. The only one that matters.
Yesterday standing in front of the cameras with his big dumb 200 million dollar smile Mark Teixiera conjured up the most bittersweet of emotions. Was I pissed, yup. Did I love it? yup.
Darth Vader rebuilt the Death Star. The machines have sent back another Terminator, Moriarty has devised another devious plan.
The Yeankees are back.
And nothing makes this Red Sox fan happier.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Manny Part II

Checkmate

Theres only one move.

You know what it is.
He's sitting out there. Looming. Waiting for the impossible to happen.

It could happen. Nothing is ever over when its just business. It can be worked out. Parameters, stipulations. Its the perfect storm.

The Red Sox have to go get Manny Ramirez.

Its insanity, its so far out of the realm that no one wants to even say it out loud, but the Yankees just signed the second best bat on the market for the highest dollars out there.

Manny at 20 mil per year for 3 years...

We were ready to do it for 2 if he hadn't opened his big mouth.

Now truth be told its almost a done deal that Manny is going to the Dodgers,its just how much Boras can bluff them into paying. But if Boras is truly the master he realizes that an enormous market just opened back up with the Yankees grabbing Teixiera, and the best part is, Manny has already played in it before.
If John Henry is truly the businessman I think he is, he realizes value when he sees it. He was trumped by Cashman this time. His move of pulling out on Thursday night was tremendous and it almost worked, tipping Boras' hand when it looked like he held all the cards.

But Boras still had one up his sleeve. The deck was loaded and Henry didn't even know it.

Now Henry is backed into a corner with only one possible shot at a win.

The contract could have clauses in it. Incentives for games played, incentives for MVP performances, "good citizen" clauses where if he makes it through a season without a benching for "good cause" triggers another 500,000.

Sure he's a pain in the ass. Sure he pushes 70 year old guys and may be a closet racist (remember "white devils"? Not enough to call him a bigot? Okay, he's a "brown devil". Yeah, pretty bad) but he can hit, he can hit better than anyone i've ever seen.

Make no mistake about it, Mark Teixiera cannot hold Manny Ramirez' hair net when it comes to putting a wooden bat on a cowksin ball. He can hit, yes, he cannot hit like Manny. Manny can hit anyone, at any time, ever. What he does when the heat is on is even more amazing. Need a hit to keep you alive against the best closer in baseball? Manny steps up and lets K Rod know that he, not anyone else, is a bad man.

Make no mistake about it. I cannot personally stand Manny Ramirez. I accepted his stupidty and immaturity and complete lack of class for 6 years because the man could hit. When he shoved Jack McCormick the 70 year old ex-police officer and veteran he lost me. It was a disgusting display from a disgusting person. And when he quit on the team my digust dug in even further, but there are two things that allow me to cheer for him to put on a Red Sox uniform again:

1. Everyone screws up. Sincere regret and an illustration that ways have changed go a long way.
2. Why punish myself because he's a jackass?

The guy acts like a jerk and we are shortchanged even further? Wouldnt the ultimate punishment be to come back, hat in hand, and have to play here again, admitting that the "insulting" and "disrespectful" 20 million per year by the "white devils" was actually his market value?

I can think of no bigger masterstroke to trump the Yankees except for the impending image of Hank Steinbrenner driving to Washington in his Prius asking President Obama to bail out the Yankees.

Don't do it Barry, I see you with that White Sox hat on

Monday, November 10, 2008

Fantasy Monday

Rob Legrow is still a moolie who can't figure out the Internet, so his words follow:

Little bit more serious tone to this one.

I am not proud that Barack Obama won the Presidency. I do not think that there is any pride in electing a socialist who believes in redistribution of wealth and whose closest spiritual advisor is a racist, anti-semite who speaks more vile and venom than Nathan Bedford Forrest could have dreamed of, just because he is black. I would think it was great to elect a president who is Klan member just because he is white.

That said I hope he does a terrific job. I hope the country flourishes and I can come here four years from now and say "I have never been so happy to be wrong."

This is the same feeling that you have when one of your top fantasy players is going against your real life team. That is happening today with Marshawn Lynch who is going against my Patriots today. I think he goes off. I think he runs for 120 and two scores. I think that the Patriots Defense cannot stop big running backs and never could. I still remember Priest Holmes ripping them up in Week 6 of 2002.

But I will never be so happy to be wrong.

On to the picks:


1. Maurice Jones Drew @ Detroit.
That is all.

2 David Garrard.@ Detroit
Ditto.

3. Lynch
Tedy Bruschi, Ellis Hobbs, Deltha O Neal should not be playing professional football right now.


4. Greg Camarillo
I flat love this guy. The poor man's Wes Welker. Who was the poor man's Troy Brown until he got the most powerful mustache this side of Selleck circa '87.

5. Jacksonvilles Defense.
Yes. The Raiders are starting Daunte Culpepper. This is a gift from Jesus Christ himself that I get to laugh at this guy again. It was truly amazing watching Carney Hands for the 10 years previous. I know he can iive up to my image of him.

6. Tim Hightower
2008 for "Ryan Grant"

7.Anyone in the Texans passing game.
Sage Rosenschaub is the prototype Great at fantasy, stinks in real life. Although thats usually reversed, Rosenfells pulls it off. Man throws and throws and throws and then throws some more, usually at least one too many.


Sit down!

1. Donnie Avery
No chance the Rams do anything.

2. Steelers WRs
No Ben. No chance.

3. Detroits Defense
Not that you were considering it.

4. Chris Johnson/ Lendale White
Chicago is going to come out flying.

5. Matt Forte
Jeff Fisher spent oceans of time trying to figure out who could hurt him more: Matt Forte or Rex Grossman


Until next week we will be pondering Obama's progressive taxes and handout society that is coming. Want to go to work, want to suceed in America?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Whadda We Got

Rob Legrow is too busy readying his Romney-Palin '12 signs to learn how to post to a blog, so his words follow:

Brady Quinn
Ready for this?
This is like Aaron Rodgers without the controversy but with an even better offense. Edwards, Winslow, Stallworth(?), Jamal Lewis will make this easy for him. He's sat back, waited, watched and learned and now he has Denver's defense to throw at. Clevland makes a run at the playoffs, a possible 7-1 over the next 8 gamess.


Tim Hightower-
This is like Part II of MBIII and the spin-off of Aaron Rodgers/Brady Quinn.
Get enough stupid Hollywood administration references? No? Go read Matthew Berry, he loves that shit.

Kurt Warner is still nasty.

Adrian Peterson is ready to establish that he is the best back in football.

Matt Schaub and Sage Rosenfels should combine to form one quarterback, like in Seinfeld when George and Jerry team up to become one boyfriend or the "Raybert" episode in Everybody Loves Raymond.
Sage Schuab.
Matt Rosenfels.
Matt Rosenschaub.
Sage Rosenschaub
Incense and Peppermints.
Doest matter, Andre Johnson is still the best all around receiver in football not named Roddy White.


Matt Ryan is for real. The best thing to come out of BC since Fred Smerlas.

Before this season Matt Cassel last played a real live football game in high school. This cannot be overemphasized. The man shows up straight out of Best of Times and is Kurt Russelling his way to wins.
In all seriousness, he hit Gaffney PERFECT. In stride, beautiful pass and the drop was inexcusable. Normally I won't do this: "If he did this and he did that then this would have happened.", but I think we all can agree that that Gaffney throw HAS to be caught. So check his numbers if you give Gaffney that catch:
26/34 250 yards 1TD
Nice and efficient. 8 wasted passes. With the ground game getting healthy, this team could be okay.
Oh wait, they have THE WORST CORNERBACKS IN FOOTBALL.
I will say however that this is the first time I have ever seen someone get better before my eyes since Brady. People wonder what Bellichick saw in this kid and how he found Brady, it was his ability to learn, his intelligence, his read progression, his footwork, his poise and most importantly his coachability. In short, having the knowledge to know that he doesnt know everything.

Your All Star Sleeper Team for Week 9
QB - Quinn
RB- Hightower
RB -Forte
WR- Berrian
WR- Camarillo
TE- Visanthe Shiancoe
DEF- Miami
K - Elam

Friday, October 31, 2008

All right, all right, ALL RIGHT



Rob Legrow's apparently Dazed & Confused, and can't figure out technology, so his words follow mine:

Channel my innner Wooderson here.

No opener, lets get into it!



1. Ernie G's please stand up!

Earnest Graham is going to flat go off this week. A horrendous Kansas City defense, no Warrick Dunn etc.. etc.. sometimes these things need no more explanation.

I like to think of Ernie G's are Ryan G's Good Twin. That Ryan Grant is the evil one. The one that stinks. How can you not love the guy? He played fullback for an entire half three games ago. And Little Mouth Dunn said it was one of the most unselfish things he's ever seen. Although he also said he'd "never do Cat Fancy again" and lets see if he can keep that promise.

Graham pops for 120 and 2 scores. Catches 3 passes for 25 more yards. Flat monster this week.

2. (Insert QB Playing Bears This Week)

Kyle Orton

'Nuff said.

3. Dallas Clark

Pats secondary is horrendous and Manning has to throw to someone. Clark has been his most valuable receiver this year and Rodeny is out. Merriweather can only do so much.

This guy is really dictionary definition boom or bust. I had him last yera for a bit, he sucked I picked up Ben Watson, he was then awesome. Ben Watson for six weeks was okay and then we learned that in some cultures Ben Watson is loosely translated into "Vernon Davis".

4. Roddy White.
AKA the best player ever.

5. Everyone offensive player on Miami, Brandon Marshall, Jay Cutler. Miami Defense.

Cutler is going to throw throw throw. 24 hours we never close.
Pennington is going to dink and dunk.
Brown and Williams will power around.
Offensive showdown.
Thing is, I am going to pick Denver to win, but I don't know why. I think Miami has the better defense, I dont think Denver's ground game is what it once was and I think Miami's offense is perfect to pick this team apart.
Its Miami man.

6. Lamont Jordan
Perfect matchup for him to come off the injury list. The Colts can stop no one. Especially not a bruiser like Jordan. Plus Bellichick knows the only way to minimize the effect of that Clown College he has in the secondary is to keep it on the ground and kill clock. Pound pound pound.


No thank you

1. Anyone on Baltimore or Cleveland.
This is a 13-10 special.

2. Chad Ocho Cinco
a Must Sit now.


3. Ryan Grant.
One year wonder.

4. Calvin Johnson.
Think of it as a character builder Calvin. Teams will love you for it in free agency.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Not-Quite-Halfway Point

Rob Legrow's crusade against technology continues, as his blogging skills approach the same level of the Olson Twins weight-gaining regimen.

Therefore, his words start here:

Patriot Reign II?

The Patriots are at worst a .500 team. If they go .500 over the next 8 games, they are 9-7. I figured they would be around 10-6 when Brady went out but after watching the debacle in SD I was hoping they'd win just 6 games. The offense is getting its rythm back. Are they top echelon? No. But are they a playoff team? Sure. Why not. In 2008? Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Roddy White.

7-0 and counting..
Tennesee has a very good defense and a capable offense. I say capable because Kerry Collins is still Kerry Collins. (Side note: The resurgence of Collins QBs the past couple of years, Pride of Walpole Todd Collins and Kerry Collins; please please tell me Phil is coming out with another album.) Tennesee capitalizes on soft front seven's when they are offense and has the luxury with Courtland Finnegan to focus eight guys on the ground game and dare bad quarterbacks to beat them.
Bob Sanders being out really didnt matter for Tennesee last night, Collins isnt that type of QB. He's a dink and dunk player, Sanders would have been nuetralized in his assignment and having to stay true to coverage lest the Tight Ends or Fullbacks take them apart. Collins is not a shot at the end zone type guy anymore, even though he always had a gun for an arm back in the day. But thats not his role right now, he's all dink and dunks. Collins is accurate and poised (i know, i'm amazed myself) but he simply doesnt have the recievers. You throw a team against the Titans that can stuff run and they will be in some trouble. ,In fact they are very reminciscent of that '99 Giants team Collins took to the Super Bowl with Tiki and Ron Dayne being played by Chris Johnson and Lendale White. However, like that team they will have trouble with a bruising defense such as the Ravens. Funny you should mention that Rob as they did just that this year in Week 5 when they needed a late drive by Collins to beat Baltimore. Look for Jacksonville to take them out at home on November 16th. GB this week also could provide a scare if Rodgers plays and the Pack realizes that Brandon Jackson is their top back.
They take on the iron the next 5 weeks so the dreams of undefeated may last one more week but not much more.

Worst in First -

The AFC West is a legitimate disgrace. I don't know who is coming out of that mess. The first few games it looked like the Bronco's were worldbeaters, then they reverted back to the Brian Griese years. San Diego smokes NE and then looks like Clown University out there. I vote no on The Raiders and the Chiefs are the worst professional football team I have ever seen.



So who are the top teams right now?

Tennesee obviously

Carolina- I know they are paper tigers almost every year but when they put it together they can play. Also, they 6-1 and just now getting their O Line back.

Tampa Bay - Again, its a wierd season. Suffocating defense, solid ground game. Good team concept over there with high quality guys like Dunn and Graham. If they could get rid of Jigsaw Garcia they'd be Kool and The Gang.

Pittsburgh- Almost a completely intact team from last year, possibly the top QB in the league right now even counting that poor performance last week. Holmes suspension hurts though.

Jacksonville -- MJD gets going and they are dangerous.

Houston - Falling in love with this team. Raw defense, nasty offense, Slaton is becoming a presence.

NYGiants - lot of injuries, lot of turmoil, just how they seem to like it. I still don't believe in Eli Manning, he did everything he could to throw that Super Bowl. Ugh God. It still hurts.

NE Pats - This week against Indy will show something. Yes, they are AWFUL at the cornerback position. I would venture to say that the only corner worse than Delta O Neal is Ellis Hobbs. I can't imagine tossing in two guys from the practice squad could look any more inept. The good news is that the D Line looks strong and Merriweather and Sanders could turn into solid safeties if they are allowed to stop having to play third cornerback.
Matt Cassell is getting the offense, he's vibing with his receivers, as evident from the touch on the TD ball he threw to Faulk last week. Look for Terrance Wheatley to get some time at CB and this team to start picking up steam.

Houston - Kind of falling in love with this team. They would be the best team in the AFC North and West and possibly the East. That AFC South is brutal though.