All right, all right, ALL RIGHT

Rob Legrow's apparently Dazed & Confused, and can't figure out technology, so his words follow mine:

Channel my innner Wooderson here.

No opener, lets get into it!



1. Ernie G's please stand up!

Earnest Graham is going to flat go off this week. A horrendous Kansas City defense, no Warrick Dunn etc.. etc.. sometimes these things need no more explanation.

I like to think of Ernie G's are Ryan G's Good Twin. That Ryan Grant is the evil one. The one that stinks. How can you not love the guy? He played fullback for an entire half three games ago. And Little Mouth Dunn said it was one of the most unselfish things he's ever seen. Although he also said he'd "never do Cat Fancy again" and lets see if he can keep that promise.

Graham pops for 120 and 2 scores. Catches 3 passes for 25 more yards. Flat monster this week.

2. (Insert QB Playing Bears This Week)

Kyle Orton

'Nuff said.

3. Dallas Clark

Pats secondary is horrendous and Manning has to throw to someone. Clark has been his most valuable receiver this year and Rodeny is out. Merriweather can only do so much.

This guy is really dictionary definition boom or bust. I had him last yera for a bit, he sucked I picked up Ben Watson, he was then awesome. Ben Watson for six weeks was okay and then we learned that in some cultures Ben Watson is loosely translated into "Vernon Davis".

4. Roddy White.
AKA the best player ever.

5. Everyone offensive player on Miami, Brandon Marshall, Jay Cutler. Miami Defense.

Cutler is going to throw throw throw. 24 hours we never close.
Pennington is going to dink and dunk.
Brown and Williams will power around.
Offensive showdown.
Thing is, I am going to pick Denver to win, but I don't know why. I think Miami has the better defense, I dont think Denver's ground game is what it once was and I think Miami's offense is perfect to pick this team apart.
Its Miami man.

6. Lamont Jordan
Perfect matchup for him to come off the injury list. The Colts can stop no one. Especially not a bruiser like Jordan. Plus Bellichick knows the only way to minimize the effect of that Clown College he has in the secondary is to keep it on the ground and kill clock. Pound pound pound.


No thank you

1. Anyone on Baltimore or Cleveland.
This is a 13-10 special.

2. Chad Ocho Cinco
a Must Sit now.


3. Ryan Grant.
One year wonder.

4. Calvin Johnson.
Think of it as a character builder Calvin. Teams will love you for it in free agency.

Not-Quite-Halfway Point

Rob Legrow's crusade against technology continues, as his blogging skills approach the same level of the Olson Twins weight-gaining regimen.

Therefore, his words start here:

Patriot Reign II?

The Patriots are at worst a .500 team. If they go .500 over the next 8 games, they are 9-7. I figured they would be around 10-6 when Brady went out but after watching the debacle in SD I was hoping they'd win just 6 games. The offense is getting its rythm back. Are they top echelon? No. But are they a playoff team? Sure. Why not. In 2008? Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Roddy White.

7-0 and counting..
Tennesee has a very good defense and a capable offense. I say capable because Kerry Collins is still Kerry Collins. (Side note: The resurgence of Collins QBs the past couple of years, Pride of Walpole Todd Collins and Kerry Collins; please please tell me Phil is coming out with another album.) Tennesee capitalizes on soft front seven's when they are offense and has the luxury with Courtland Finnegan to focus eight guys on the ground game and dare bad quarterbacks to beat them.
Bob Sanders being out really didnt matter for Tennesee last night, Collins isnt that type of QB. He's a dink and dunk player, Sanders would have been nuetralized in his assignment and having to stay true to coverage lest the Tight Ends or Fullbacks take them apart. Collins is not a shot at the end zone type guy anymore, even though he always had a gun for an arm back in the day. But thats not his role right now, he's all dink and dunks. Collins is accurate and poised (i know, i'm amazed myself) but he simply doesnt have the recievers. You throw a team against the Titans that can stuff run and they will be in some trouble. ,In fact they are very reminciscent of that '99 Giants team Collins took to the Super Bowl with Tiki and Ron Dayne being played by Chris Johnson and Lendale White. However, like that team they will have trouble with a bruising defense such as the Ravens. Funny you should mention that Rob as they did just that this year in Week 5 when they needed a late drive by Collins to beat Baltimore. Look for Jacksonville to take them out at home on November 16th. GB this week also could provide a scare if Rodgers plays and the Pack realizes that Brandon Jackson is their top back.
They take on the iron the next 5 weeks so the dreams of undefeated may last one more week but not much more.

Worst in First -

The AFC West is a legitimate disgrace. I don't know who is coming out of that mess. The first few games it looked like the Bronco's were worldbeaters, then they reverted back to the Brian Griese years. San Diego smokes NE and then looks like Clown University out there. I vote no on The Raiders and the Chiefs are the worst professional football team I have ever seen.



So who are the top teams right now?

Tennesee obviously

Carolina- I know they are paper tigers almost every year but when they put it together they can play. Also, they 6-1 and just now getting their O Line back.

Tampa Bay - Again, its a wierd season. Suffocating defense, solid ground game. Good team concept over there with high quality guys like Dunn and Graham. If they could get rid of Jigsaw Garcia they'd be Kool and The Gang.

Pittsburgh- Almost a completely intact team from last year, possibly the top QB in the league right now even counting that poor performance last week. Holmes suspension hurts though.

Jacksonville -- MJD gets going and they are dangerous.

Houston - Falling in love with this team. Raw defense, nasty offense, Slaton is becoming a presence.

NYGiants - lot of injuries, lot of turmoil, just how they seem to like it. I still don't believe in Eli Manning, he did everything he could to throw that Super Bowl. Ugh God. It still hurts.

NE Pats - This week against Indy will show something. Yes, they are AWFUL at the cornerback position. I would venture to say that the only corner worse than Delta O Neal is Ellis Hobbs. I can't imagine tossing in two guys from the practice squad could look any more inept. The good news is that the D Line looks strong and Merriweather and Sanders could turn into solid safeties if they are allowed to stop having to play third cornerback.
Matt Cassell is getting the offense, he's vibing with his receivers, as evident from the touch on the TD ball he threw to Faulk last week. Look for Terrance Wheatley to get some time at CB and this team to start picking up steam.

Houston - Kind of falling in love with this team. They would be the best team in the AFC North and West and possibly the East. That AFC South is brutal though.

What We Have Learned

Rob Legrow, who is to technology what Ted Stevens is to ethics, still can't figure out how to post to a blog, so his words start here:

Well with a game to go tonight that might tell us a whole lot we'll recap this weekends action.


Donnie Avery is for real. Deep threat extraordinare.

Matt Cassell is coming along. Shocking that right now there are only about 8 or 9 starting QBs I'd take in front of him. That means Matt Cassell is a Top 10 QB. Yes. That is correct. A man who had not started a game since high school 8 weeks ago is now a top ten NFL QB. Look at the league, who would you rather have?
Peyton
Brees
Rivers
Schaub
Cutler
Warner

Don't give me Favre, he isn't a quarterback, he's a football thrower. He is going to cost them big time down there in the Meadowlands and its going to be when it counts.
I would say outside of those 6 its a toss up. Kerry Collins? David Garrard? Jason Campbell? Matt Ryan? I don't see the seperation between them and Cassell and if anything I would say that his play has markedly improved the past two weeks while theres has been stagnant at best. Jeff Garcia? No thanks.
So Cassell keeps improving, keeps getting better. He is starting to get a real feel for Moss and Welker. The ground game if Morris can get back within two weeks has a nice little pop with he and Ben Jarvis Green Ellis Watson Hobbs Bellichick or BeeGee for short hitting those holes.
And in a league where Kerry Collins is helming the best team in the league? Anything is possible.

The biggest Patriots question is: How can they get CB help? Merriweather and Sanders look good back there but O'Neal and Hobbs are brutal. Don't forget that this has been thier Achilles Heel for 4 years now or since the departure of Ty Law. The lack of being able to give safety help on the run and instead having to always roll coverage has allowed for Tight Ends in this league and speed rushers to go OFF, especially with the suddenly slow footed OLB situation and the rapid decline of Tedy Bruschi.

Drew Brees is nasty, Phillip Rivers is equally raw and I guarantee he and Cutler make the AFC West quite fun for a few years with a legitimate rivalry. Bottom line: I dont think these guys like each other.

Houston is back on track.

Starting a team, first Wide Reciever I take is Roddy White. R.A.W.

Then Andre Johnson.

I do not however take Plaxico Burress.

I still think Cleveland would be far better served to start Brady Quinn right now.

Also, the Soldier has run his course. I'd bench him.
Only possible thing that could have saved Vernon Davis from being the black Ryan Leaf just happened.

You can pick up Mewelde Moore now.

Fantasy Waiver Wire

The technologically decrepit Rob Legrow, who is apparently the Hal Gill of computer users, is back with another fantasy column.

His words start here:

Breakouts:

At this point in the season the cream has risen to the top. The injuries have taken their toll. No Tomlinson is not someone you can count on. No McFadden will not be this year's Adrian Peterson. Yes you can get rid of your Bengals.

Tom Brady really is not coming back.

But at this point the one week frauds are exposed, what was that TE's name? Dante Rosario? Wasnt she on Lost? But the real breakouts are coming through.

Normally they are more plentiful in the WR category. RBs typically have one outstanding breaout a year. Two is an extreme rareity. (See Ryan Grant/Earnest Graham) But WRs there are usually no less than five guys throughout the year you can grab. The Coston's, Furrey's, Wes Welker's etc.. You pick up two of these guys and you can deal either of your top two rated WRs for a stud RB or QB.

This is why every year even though theres screaming about the death of the RB-RB fantasy draft system its still the best way to go for 99% of owners. (There are the 1% who are just damn good at predicting and can draft Best Available every round and fill in the blanks later. Lot of balls on that owner. My impression of that guy, who we'll call Grapefruits In His Underwear, at the draft:

Commish: Okay Grapefruits in your underwear, your up with the NO. 3 overall pick
Grapefruits (GF): "Ah I'll take Manning"
All: "Too early for a QB"
Grapefruits leans back and smiles.

One Round Later...

Commish: Okay Grapefruits, you're up..
GF: "TO."
ALL: "No RBs? NO RBS?!?!?!"
GF: "My Teams on the floor"

The crowd goes crazy like its the opening home game for Hickory High. Southern people spew vitriol usually reserved only for dentistry and anti-incest protestors. Liberals use hate speech only reserved for George Bush, Jesus and anyone who thinks 1% different than they do.

Grapefruit's taps his head with his Master Sheet, leans back, smiles and channels his inner Hackman.


Wide Recievers:

Josh Morgan - No. 1 WR in a Martz offense. There's 80% of the job application. Not to mention the kid has speed, hands and is pretty much a physical clone of Torry Holt

Because of Nolan's firing, Martz is high man on the totem pole, regardless of what title Singletary has. Until the Head Coach has a full season under his belt he's not going to have a huge say in the offense and if you'll recall Ol' Number 50 was more of a defensive guy .

Martz will stick with his the Greatest Frauds on Turf offense for the rest of the season and truthfully there is no better system for fantasy QB and WR; for winning games however, well who gives a shit about that?
er


Donnie Avery:

Avery is a player. He's a little undersized but he's all ballplayer. And the man is just flat FAST. I mean world class speed. Guy threw around an unofficial 4.35 at the combine. Ony knock on him is a little bit of Alligator Arms and he's unpolished. But Holt is the superior route runner and the over the middle threat. Avery is a home run hitter who is going to sneak up on some defenses the rest of the year. If Jackson is banged up Linehan will throw and throw a lot. That just means more and more targets. He has the tools, he has the talent. It's Miller Time


RB-

This is the week typically that your breakout RB for this year...well...breaks out.

Lot of forecasts on Ben Jarvis Green Ellis Hobbs Watson Brady and I like him, but I also love Maurice Morris from Seattle. He's healthy and the pass game is wrecked. Someone has to get plays called for them. Please forget Julius Jones; the guy is a paper tiger. He's like the Steelers from 96-2004. (Yay you won a title because you played Seattle. Really super. Never did a thing against Bellichick. Guess the best team just kept losing over and over again huh? Losers.)

Also, get ready for Brady Quinn this week. He'll come in in the third quarter down 20 points and lead them back to either winning or coming really close.

Welcome to the Cincinnati Bengals Season Review

Dallas Blowboys

What the fuck is happening with the Blowboys, er, Cowboys?

All I heard was that Dallas was the Super Bowl favorites, that they would probably cruise through the NFC, and that Tony Romo was so dreamy!

So what happened?

1st, any team coached by a man that looks like this is doomed:



Things Anus Phillips (he is Bum's son, right?) appears to be doing:

A. Contemplating punting with :17 left down 3 points

B. Deciding whether or not the burrito he ate for lunch was a good idea

C. Shitting said burrito into his pants

I mean, this is the man you entrust to use his brainpower to get to the Super Bowl?

Then you have your quarterback. Tony Romo, and no, I wont call him homo - do homos bang this?



Anyways, Romo isn't a terrible QB or anything, but he's not the special talent that others make him out to be. He's not a Brady or Manning, and his level is probably more Brad Johnson (yes, irony for the win). Johnson was good enough to win a Super Bowl, but with a fantastic defense supporting him against Oakland and their Committment to Excrement.

Don't even get me started on Terribly Overexposed. I wont question his physical toughness (the man could have won Super Bowl MVP on a broken leg had the Eagles won it), but the clownshoes act has worn painfully thin. Ditch him, let Patrick Crayton be your #1, and kill the soap opera shit.

Then again, how do you not have soap opera shit when Jerry Jones is around? The man is looking dangerously like Joan Rivers these days and has about as much football sense. 1st, 3rd, and 6th round picks do not equal Roy Fucking Williams (Not to be confused with Roy Fuck I'm Out For The Year Williams). Some say he's outsmarting himself, but a monkey throwing his own shit against the wall outsmarts himself also.

So, I leave you with a message of peace and love:

Flesh For Fantasy

Since Rob LeGrow is a flamer that can't figure out how to log in and post his own shit, I have to do it for him.

Dumbass.

Anyways. his words:

And...we're Back!


Moss, McGahee, Grant are all good to go, great Week 7 performances and now ready to tear it up for the rest of the season.

Uh.

Maybe not.

Football is not really that fickle of a game. It could be a few very good defenses that were underrated at the beginning of the year stuff a great Running Back or maybe the schedule for the first 3 weeks are defenses that can afford double coverage on a normally outstanding Wideout. Those are called Buy Low opportunities.

But other than that, good players, in thieir prime, produce. There are no prolonged slumps or down years. There are tangible reasons as to why guys are good and guys are bad. This is not like baseball where a slump is just "Just not seeing it" or a hot steak is "Its as big as a beachball right now"

Partly because you don't have the luxury of letting the game come to you, lest a 300 pound man knock your face off.

Tony Gonzalez is on the worst professional football team I have ever seen. He is STILL putting up decent numbers. On that team, yeah he's probably about 60% of what he could be. But no one's walking around going "I just don't know whats wrong with Tony G's this year"

However, when people are making excuses and everyone is in the same situation as they were the year before, its probably because the party's over. Ladanian Tomlinson, go sit next to Shaun Alexander. Derek Anderson, stop looking your shoulder, just give Brady Quinn the ball.

Lets hit the spotlights:

RANDY MOSS

Randy Moss is having a bad year because Matt Cassell is not very good. Sure he's shown flashes here and there and has proven, if nothing else, to be a serviceable backup. But do not mistake last nights effort as Cassell having arrived. The situation is not stable. It is Shannahan-esque in causing people to pull their hair out.

Pass on Randy. I dealt him for Andre Johnson three weeks ago when both were floundering and have not looked back. Moss is still Moss, quite possibly the second best reciever ever to play but Johnson was injury free (fingers crossed) and was in the exact same situation he did the year before when he flourished. Moss? 9/7/08. We will never forget.

WILLIS MCGAHEE

Opposing coach:

"THink we should worry about McGahee or Flacco?"

Pass on Willis.

RYAN GRANT

More situational upheaval; hwever, Aaron Rodgers looks legit. Teams shut down the run and Rodgers can beat you by himself. Gutsy and correct move by Green Bay.

Problem is Grant looks slow. Just flat out plodding and with 0 chance of breaking one. (Although Breakaway Speed is in situational upheaval itself after what I watched Lendale White do on Sunday. Comment from the crowd in The Barn as we were watching the replay of Lendale's race to glory : "Romeo Crennel plays for the Titans?")

He fumbles too much and he's not getting goal line touches. His two "breakout" games coming right before he faces Tennesee, Minn, Chicago and New Orleans. Four of the best defenses against the run in the league. Not to mention the fact that he has a case of fumble-itis which assures that he is the 4th overall roster option at best on the goal line.

So what to do with Grant? He's a flier after Week 12, RB3 or a flex against a team that has poor corners and has to give all types of secondary help.
If you have him, sell high now, he's not doing anything for the next four weeks.
If you want him, wait until after the New Orleans game and grab him as a playoff reserve. He is still the starting RB on a team with a solid offense and a very good quarterback. Even then its got to be highway robbery to make sense.

STEPHEN JACKSON
Stephen Jackson on the other hand is for real. Hopefully you hopped on two weeks ago but now its probably too late as at this point he's a little OVERvalued. However, if you can still grab him, especially for my top 3 overrated right now:
1. Romo
2. LdT
3. TO
Then pull the trigger. Remember, the Rams O line is still a disgrace and thats still Jim Haslett over there. The man in good conscience entrusted a team with loads of talent to Aaron Brooks.

Yippie Kay Yay.

I'm Not Even Going To Bother Anymore

Don't ask me to try to figure out the Pats - there's no point.

Or the AFC.

Gambling on the AFC this year is right up there with gambling on spring training games - JUST SAY NO.

And oh yes, we're going to give this one more go-round. Hopefully I can find time to stick with it.